Friday, January 10, 2014

Classic Match.com Snafu

Online dating is a great way to meet people.  However, it apparently comes with some risks.  This is a 100% real email received from Match.com.  The name and email address have been redacted, but the rest of the email is unaltered.

While I'm sure many folks will be interested in learning more about the "Telluride Gay Ski Week," the best part is the where they basically say, don't worry dude, we know you aren't gay.  All that's missing is "not that there's anything wrong with that."

Being single is tough, but one way to get over your loneliness is to enjoy someone else's misery with this divorce related cartoon: Growing Apart

If you aren't single, I highly recommend reviewing this list of 10 Signs it is Time to Break Up With Your Girlfriend

Friday, December 20, 2013

Free Specialty Greeting Cards

The greeting card industry is a $1.35 billion a month business.  But as with any industry, certain demographics fall between the cracks.  That is where we come in.  We've designed specialty cards that fit situations that may not sell enough to warrant space in a crowded greeting card display.  The best part? We're giving these priceless cards to you for free! Simply print out the picture and bask in the genius.

Ex-Wife's New Husband
So your wife left you and married some other guy.  Having gotten past the desire to punch him in the nuts, how do you get past the awkwardness in dealing with a guy who is sticking his (hopefully small) penis into the woman you used to be married to?  Just send him this congratulatory card and you will be best buddies who trade deez nuts jokes

 Valentine's Day: Unrequited Love
If you are a creepy dude who loves a girl who doesn't know you exist, this is the card for you.  It worked for Charlie Brown on the Little Red-Haired Girl and it can work for you!  Disclaimer: If it doesn't work, you may end up in jail.  Either way, you won't be alone on Valentine's Day.

 Valentine's Day: Recently Divorced Friend
Your friend just got divorced and he will be spending Valentine's Day eating canned beans in his underwear and wondering why he spent so much on his now ex-wife's wedding ring.  It's up to his brohams to bolster his self esteem and take his mind off the fact that he threw away the best years of his life.  This card will do the trick!

Boner 
Dudes get boners.  The leading causes of boners are:
1. Seeing a hot girl
2. Seeing any girl
3. Waking up in the morning (morning wood)
4. Breathing
5. Trying not to get a boner
Carry this card with you at all times.  If you get a boner around a girl, hand her the card. She'll be so impressed by your honesty that she will offer to hook up with you.

Cancer Sympathy
Hopefully no one you know has cancer.  But if you do know someone who has the Big C, they will need your moral support to get through these troubling times ... especially if he or she has anal cancer. I mean, how can anyone console someone who has anal cancer without laughing?  Well, we can, but most people aren't as mature as we are.  This card has been tested on 45 cancer patients, and miraculously, they all are now cancer free.  Nobel prize, you know where to find us.

Sunday, November 3, 2013

Growing Apart

A co-worker runs into Deez's ex-wife and he learns that she has been sugarcoating the reason for their breakup.  When Deez tries to set the record straight, things get awkward.



Wait? Since when did Deez get divorced?  Catch up by watching these episodes (in rough chronological order):

I Think My Wife Hates Me

Identity Theft

Mmmm Waffles (The Wedding Gift Episode)

Religious Differences





Sunday, October 13, 2013

Religious Differences

When a well intentioned co-worker starts asking Deez questions about his ex-wife, he gets more than he bargained for:





Wait?  You didn't know Deez was single now?  Well, in that case, you have some catching up to do.  The Identity Theft and Mmmm Waffles episodes will get you up to speed in a jiffy.

Would you rather see the brighter side of breaking up?  Check out 10 Signs It Is Time To Break Up With Your Girlfriend

Saturday, October 12, 2013

Identity Theft

Deez is having a bad day.  Then again, sometimes having your identity stolen is the least of your concerns.


This is the shocking episode that serves as the prequel to Mmmm, Waffles (The Wedding Gift Episode):



Check out Religious Differences to see what happens next in this saga

Saturday, August 24, 2013

Mmmm Waffles (The Wedding Gift Episode)

When Big Country learns some unfortunate news about Deez, he asks a question representative of his typical sensitivity and grace.




For a historical reference point to this heartwarming and uplifting episode, check out the PREQUEL (also known as "I Think My Wife Hates Me")- it may change your life, but probably not.



Saturday, July 6, 2013

Meet John: Mascot For Hire

Every once and a while, a product mascot gets stale.  When that happens, sales suffer and people start sending inappropriate texts.  If you are a company in need of a new, fresh looking mascot that will connect with today's youth, look no further than John!  Kids love him more than they love their parents!  Your sales will go through the roof.  And best of all ... he comes very cheap.




CLICK HERE to see more out of work mascots.

One mascot that will never go out of style is Bofa D's mascot: